My Fertility Problems May Have Started Before I Was Born

Holidays are a time that we see plenty of extended family. Sometimes it makes you revert back to old childhood behaviors and those old memories come flooding back. This article (link below) really hit the nail on the head for me. My mother openly admitted that I was an "accident" (probably not something I would ever admit to a child...) and as I got older I realized this is probably why I felt quite isolated and somewhat neglected when I was growing up. When I came along, the last thing my mother wanted was another baby. As a result, I think she subconsciously had this attitude like she was doing me a favor by caring for me and the least I could do is be quiet and stay out of her way. My mother did all the "right" things, she fed me, clothed me, educated me, and brought me to church - but I always knew I was the "outsider" - my sisters definitely had higher standing in the family. So what did this have to do with my fertility? Well...because of my lack of parenting, the last thing I wanted was my own child (until I was older) and, for much of my adult life, I suffered from very low self esteem. I threw myself into my career where I finally received some much needed positive feedback. Unfortunately, the stress of my job took a toll on my body. Couple that with marrying at an older age and what you have is a recipe for infertility.

Read more about how unwanted pregnancies can plague children well into adulthood:

When mothers don’t plan to get pregnant, adult children think less of themselves, study shows
By Diane Swanbrow


From the article:

The study, funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, was conducted by sociologists William G. Axinn, Jennifer S. Barber and Arland Thornton, all researchers at the Institute for Social Research.

Based on interviews conducted over 23 years, first with a random, population-based sample of 800 married women, and later with their children, the study is among the first to show that unintended pregnancies have negative, long-term social consequences for the children themselves.

“Being born unwanted probably reduces parental support and participation, as well as the quality of the parent-child relationship,” says Axinn, first author of the study report. “Women who didn’t want to have a child when they got pregnant may be less likely to invest time and emotional resources in that child, which may result in lower self-esteem for the child years later.”